Maybe it’s the effect of being home with no one to talk to but the Internet, but I was pretty blocked by the news of David Bowie’s death today. His death is in no way connected to what I am doing but his death and his knowledge of its imminence and the release of his album Blackstar and the videos that accompany the songs Lazarus and Darkstar are just a lot to contemplate. Making this final album must have been excruciating, cathartic, and depressing all at the same time. Everyone was trying to understand it all weekend and now, today, everyone is saying a collective “Oh.” Which is also happening at the same time as the collective “No, this sucks!” and that’s hard to take in as well.

How he was able to master his lifetime of work without the confidence struggles and uncertainties that sometimes make it hard for me to just get dressed in the morning and often stop me from saying what I think… that’s what I find incredible about David Bowie. Creating something even as mundane as a journal article for your job takes emotional investment and risk – putting your ideas out there and saying something that you hope matters to someone and isn’t lambasted or laughed at too much and will hopefully move you forward and not be a dead end – it’s a risky thing. He’s always seemed to be so completely confident in what he is saying and doing and how he looks that even if you aren’t sure you understand it, you still acknowledge David Bowie – how can you not? His graceful combination of art, music, and life is where we all want to be in our own way. This is a sad day but you know, he is someone I think of when I think of people who live life to its fullest.

I received incredibly helpful feedback this weekend from my colleague. It took a while to focus (see previous paragraphs) but I did some editing and re-worked the concepts section to be more understandable. I want to send it out for general editing and review tomorrow, if I can complete this round of edits.